When your dreams are as big as the Titanic… Why you might need a good iceberg!

Have you ever had a dream that puts a fire in your belly? A project that lights you up from the inside, and keeps you awake at night, planning, scheming… You can work for hours as if no time has passed…. It’s the kind of work you would do for free, even if you are getting paid. It’s more than a project, it’s a passion.

Sometimes, with a big dream, you invest months – even years – planning, putting the pieces into place, building the deck, hiring the crew, testing the boat to see if it’s seaworthy… But in the end, no plan or scheme can test your dream like reality can…. Eventually, you just have to launch it.

Then what happens?

Unlike the sheltered world of our imagination, where we dream up our great plans… The real world is like the open ocean… There are unpredictable elements. The wind can change direction, a bird can crap on your deck, unforeseen paperwork can stall your way through chartered waters…

And then there’s the Icebergs.

Some obstacles you can remove at the source, or navigate around them. But I’m not talking about them right now. I’m talking about deal-breakers. Icebergs.

An example: Our recent unplanned pregnancy is a blessing. But it has also meant some big changes in my personal and career direction over the next couple of years. And, to be honest, that’s taken some getting used too.

Sometimes, as the various changes I need to make have gradually dawned on me, I have felt like I am having to make a full 180 degree turn to accommodate our new arrangements. There are projects I’ve had to stow, and I’m not sure if I’ll be able to bring them back out again in a few years. So, yes, I would call pregnancy a kind of Iceberg.

And then last week I had some complications, and I spent a morning in hospital, both myself and the baby getting thoroughly checked out. For a while, I wondered whether this was it… And I would have to make another 180 degree turn back to life without this unexpected, but very much wanted, little person. Thankfully, me and the baby are both fine, and I didn’t have to completely change course again… but for a moment, it loomed. An Iceberg.

And that’s what got me thinking about this… How do we deal with major changes in direction, without falling into denial, or abandoning ship?

When the Titanic’s captain saw the Iceberg, it was too late to turn around. Luckily, when you see an iceberg that threatens to sink your dreams, you have other options.

How do you hold onto your precious dream, and keep your project moving forward when you face the kind of obstacle that could bring it down altogether?

Here’s what I’ve learned, from the times I’ve had to navigate my own ship around these ‘Icebergs’:

The key is to be flexible with a dream or project, without compromising the integrity, values, or vision behind it.

And the gift of the Icebergs in life – and business – is that they can cause you to reflect on what is really important to you. And to let go of the ideas you had about how things “should” work… To discover instead how things really can work.

Take a moment to go back to the time that you first thought of this project, first dreamed up this dream… And ask yourself the simple question:

What do you really want?

You’ll find your answer comes readily enough. But when it does, ask again.

What do you really want?

At first, it’s usually surface things you think of: A new project, something stimulating, to use all my skills, to make a difference, to make some extra money, to help so-and-so…

OK. But what do you really want?

And as you look deeper, you start to discover why you wanted those things… What would they give you? What’s really important to you?

Deeper needs emerge. Things like safety, love, security, purpose, wholeness.

… And then you realise that maybe that big ship you were building wasn’t the best path to that particular goal anyway… and maybe you could still achieve your deeper neeeds with some modifications to your dreams.

In order to continue with your dreams, it is sometimes necessary to be flexible with them. This can initially feel like a compromise or sacrifice…. And that’s when it feels like your ship is sinking.

But when you connect with the deeper dream, the real reason behind your scheme, there’s usually a more graceful and effortless way forward. It just may not be the way you originally planned.