Look, I have been unfaithful

whiteflowerLook, I have been unfaithful.


Countless times,

You gave me this

and I wanted that.


Countless times,

I have looked to an empty idea of your greatness

while the living gift of your presence

went unnoticed before my eyes.


Countless times,

I have judged one part of myself…

child, stranger, lover, friend…

as less than another.


But surely, we are all Lovers

lost and found

in the immensity of you.


And none of us is less of you

And all of us

are worthy

of Love.


Oh, Beloved, clean my heart,

for I have sinned

against myself.


I am the ones I have held

in tight circle around me

away from the “others”

I did not want to touch.


I am the ones I have left behind

standing alone and confused

in the cold.


I am the one who sees this play

and I am the one who chooses to say…



Look, now I come

crawling on my knees

crying to be received


And I am the one who forgives me

wrapping my self

in this eternal embrace

of inseparable togetherness.


I deliver myself

naked and newborn

into the faithful, loving arms

of this…


This living moment.



4 Responses

  1. Hello,
    Thank you for this beautiful poem. I am putting together a poetry performance around the theme of Mary Magdalene and the women in Afghanistan who are killed or tortured for sex outside marriage which includes rape. I would love to include your poem if you agree.
    Love from

  2. yollana says:

    Thank you, Philippa. I would be honoured. Please feel free to post details of your performance here… 🙂

  3. J. R. says:

    Nice Poem, However i Believe that we will continue searching our Soul and never be satisfied until we with an open mind search out a relationship with God, I Believe that if we would read and re-read the New Testament of the Bible even if we are skeptics that God’s Word would Speak to us and we would come to Know in our Spirit that there is only One Way to God and that is Through the Path that He has Laid out and that is Through His Son Jesus Christ. The Spirit of God Satisfies the Soul. Through Jesus Christ we are Given Love and of all the Gifts given by God LOVE is the Greatest. We learn to Love one Another as we would want them to Love us. It is because of this Love that i can Kindly Share my experience with you and Pray that you would with an Open Mind at least Read the New Testament Because I Know God’s Spirit will Talk to You Through HIS Word and you will come to know This Peace of the Soul. We Really do have an enemy a darkness in this world and this new age stuff of believing we can be our own god will only rob us of a Peaceful Soul. We only have one Lifetime to get it right. Many are too Proud to Believe or even give the True God a Chance and will never Read the NEW TESTAMENT BUT i know that it can change and Save a Doubter one that would ridicule Because that One was Me. What i Now Know is that if we Draw close to HIM (God) He will Draw close to Us and Show His Self Real. We will come to Know That We Know. But if we refuse to even try we have already written our own fate. My Prayer is that You and anyone reading this would take this Challenge which is to Daily Read for at Least 7 Minutes The Word of God and each time before reading Pray to God that he would Speak to You through his Inspired Word. If you do this I Know You will Always Be Lead By God and Your Soul Will Be Satisfied. I will know when you have taken this challenge because i will be reading Your Poem about this Journey.


    J. R.

  4. yollana says:

    Thank you JR.

    This is not a place where I seek to turn anyone from their path, nor where I expect for anyone to seek to turn me from mine. Here, I do not seek to promote any one religion. Rather, this poetry stems from an inquiry to the relationship with God that was here before even the first religion began, and that is here in the heart of all religions, and that would continue to be present should any religion pass away, or any Believer lose their way.

    For me, this poem is in fact, a deeper embrace of God, not an annihilation of Him.

    I am happy that you have found such comfort and inspiration in the New Testament and I wish only that you continue to feel yourself ever closer to His Holy Self, that he be ever showing you his Real Face, and that your heart and soul continue to fill with His Peace upon your chosen path.

    With love and respect, Yollana

    And a favourite quote from my dear Rumi: May the Beauty we love, be what we do… There are hundreds of ways to kneel and kiss the ground.

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